Blood Donor Extraordinaire

You should donate blood, even if only to break from your diet and eat to your heart's content. I donated blood today for the first time in my life. The student council at school put together a blood drive on campus today. What a great idea - set up 2 blood donation centers at a high school and tell impressionable youngsters to give up their blood. If I were a high schooler and some one offered me the opportunity to skip class to eat cookies, I would donate blood! I decided to donate 1) because I get excited to do new things and 2) I really like getting my blood drawn (I am so weird). I think that the Red Cross is great, and I know the need for blood is huge, but donating a pint of blood while lying in an antiquated dentist's chair inside a trailer seems a little sketch . . . whatever. Much of the process is answering questions about your sex life (or lack there of), health history, temperature taking, blood testing, and travel history. The best part was being able to watch them take my blood. I have NO idea why this fascinates me so much, but I REALLY liked watching them put the needle into my vein (even though they suggested that I not look at that part) and watching the blood poor into the packet. It was cool when they drained the blood into the tubes at the end because I could feel the blood pouring out. It is times like this that I remember my adolescent dreams of becoming a doctor . . . my sophomore chemistry class killed that dream quickly. Speaking of my vein, I was complimented 3 times on the vein in my arm with things such as, "Beautiful!", and "Nice one!" People may not say that about my ass, but damn it they say it about my vein! I'm holding on to that one. What a conversation starter, "Hi, I'm Ashley, check out my vein!" After giving blood I was starving. I ate a small package of Oreos, Nutter Butters, and Cheez-its (about 35 fat grams - way over the number of fat grams I should be consuming in one day, let alone 10 minutes) and I drank a can of OJ. About an hour later I ate a burger, sweet potato fries, zucchini fries, a glass of wine, several glasses of iced tea, and 3 bites of banana cream pie. Donating blood = bottomless stomach. I would rate my first blood donation as a success. Dear Red Cross, I'll see you again in 56 days! Maybe I'll go back to school to pursue my medical dreams . . .

Sing Us a Song, You're the Piano Man!

Best. Night. Ever.

My friends and I decided to go up to Phoenix to go to a dueling piano bar, "The Big Bang". It was so worth the drive! I don't think I have had so much fun since that night in Seattle (Tanita & Josh, you know what I am talking about). What is The Big Bang? Karaoke on cocaine. It has two grand pianos on stage; there are a total of 6 piano players that rotate through the night so that there are two on stage at one time. They play requests, so you write your song request on a napkin and put it on the piano for them to play (with a tip of course!). They played everything from Lady Gaga's Bad Romance to Justin Timberlake's Dick in a Box, to Lonely Island's I'm On a Boat, to Paul Simon's You Can Call Me Al. It was pure awesome! The piano players were so talented! I'm not gonna lie, I was very close to putting my phone number on a napkin and handing it to one of the piano players . . . beanie, facial hair, wicked mad piano skills . . . Yes please! ;) First of all, beanies are always hot. Second of all, facial hair gives the rugged look. Third of all, musician?? Triple threat. This adventure took place with my two friends, Amber and Laura, and we managed to grab a table at the very front - which was perfect! The place filled up very quickly and everyone got into it (singing along, yelling and cheering). We even met new friends . . . I don't know their names, but somehow they ended up sharing a table with us! The piano players were very interactive with theaudience. At one point, Laura was texting when one of the piano players shined a flashlight on her, asked who she could possibly be texting, and made her come up on stage and sing with the piano by herself (Bye Bye Miss American Pie) for texting during his show - have I mentioned that Laura (you may know her as Adam-Bomb) is awesome! She rocked the stage and they even bought her a shot after her performance! After that, there was some shaking like a polaroid picture, livin' a prayer, and we didn't stop believing. The place was so loud that we could sing at the top of lungs and not hear ourselves . . . until we watched the videos later . . . We did try to video record some of the songs, until we were told not to by security (woops!), so we just recorded some video clips while the staff guys weren't looking. After 4 hours of fun, singing, and pianos we drove back to Tucson. I was the DD so it was not big deal, but Laura and Amber didn't make it more than 20 minutes into the drive before they were asleep . . . thanks guys. The Glee Cast and John Mayer kept me company! Finally made it home around 3 AM . . . thus concluding one of the best nights of our lives! I am not a very good writer, so this blog does not do our experience justice, all I can say is, "why do I live in Tucson?" We'll see . . .

This blog shout-out goes to you, Amber!

The Velvet Hammer

About 8 months ago my friends and I went to a rollerderby competition (this also happened to be the night that I wore a fake mustache and took a homemade crunk cup to a party . . . but that's another story). I highly recommend attending a roller derby match. We quickly learned the rules of the game, but most importantly, the amazing names that the girls go by. The idea was formed that evening: The Velvet Hammer. The Velvet Hammer is a non-competitive, competitive roller derby team. We all wanted roller derby names without having to actually play the game (we are not that tough). The thought was: get jerseys with our roller derby names, a number, and our team name on them, some sweatbands, maybe some roller skates down the road, and then just get together to do things (chipotle, karaoke, shuffleboard, make a music video, etc.). Since we have officially created The Velvet Hammer, I have learned that the name is not so original. The Velvet Hammer is not only a non-competitive, competitive roller derby team, but it is also a drink at Raging Sage (3 shots in sweetened condensed milk, 16 oz size only) and it is the name of a burger at Lindy's on 4th. It took a while to get all our names figured out and our numbers (those ended up being the year we graduated high school), but the jerseys finally came in. They were the most ridiculous thing I have every seen. They are a jersey material, high v-neck, and GIGANTIC arms. Seriously. I felt like I was wearing Batman's cape. The back, however, turned out great! Here is one thing to consider when deciding on your own roller derby name: it has to be tough and slightly inappropriate.

Our first Velvet Hammer event took place in January. The place: Shooters. Time: 10 PM - 12 AM. Purpose: Karaoke Extravaganza, Shuffleboard, and Darts in our jerseys. Needless to say, I can never show my face in shooters with the same group of people and in my jersey ever again. When we first arrived it was a little awkward. People kept asking us who we were and what the jerseys were for. We told the first few (bartender included) that we were just a fake roller derby team (the bartender laughed). But as the night continued I played my part. By the time I left shooters I had convinced a girl to join a year-round roller derby team for $100 a season (all of this was completely made-up information), told one guy that we were playing on the following Wednesday night, and finally that roller derby involves a ball of some sort. I know, I know. A ball?!?! No. He asked me how to score points in roller derby. I looked at my friend Laura (Adam Bomb) with a look of panic because I had forgotten the rules. She looked at me and said, "I have to go to the bathroom". She left me there. Under pressure I told him that there was a ball that some one holds and that the other team has to pass her . . . ? He believed me. I don't know which one of us is the bigger idiot. Since then we have provided everyone on The Velvet Hammer with an official roller derby rule book.

This blog shout-out goes to Laura (a.k.a. Adam Bomb).

So My Dog's a Racist . . .

Here's what I have learned the past couple of weeks:

1) I think my dog may be racist. I am not going to tell you what race she is racist against because that would be racist of me. But she growls and barks at a particular race - I discovered this when I took her running with me around Reid Park the other day.

2) My hips are crooked. My right leg has been hurting for about 6 weeks but I just treated it as I do any other problem in my life: maybe if I just ignore it, it will go away. On Wednesday morning I could barely walk. I thought, "If I walk slow enough, or just don't move around too much today, maybe my students won't notice I'm a gimp." Well, I didn't make it more than 5 minutes into 1st period. I shifted my weight from my left leg to my right, winced in pain, and grabbed my leg. Needless to say, I saw 16 faces in sheer confusion, wondering what the heck is wrong me (something I ask myself every day). As usual I just lied to them. I told them I hurt my leg running from a lion that escaped from the zoo. I have no idea why the never believe anything I say to them. I had the athletic trainer that works at our school exam me; that was another experience. I was being examined in my teacher outfit among several students in their athletic clothes. Have I mentioned that my life is like one big awkward moment? No big deal. She broke the news to me that my hips are crooked. Thankfully she gave me some stretches to do that will pop everything back in place . . . welcome to 25.

3) I think that teaching must have some similarities to being a parent. I recently discovered that my students have a lot more access to my personal life than I thought. Thank you, facebook. Apparently some of my students have found my blog, even though I thought I took the necessary steps to make sure that wouldn't happen. Good thing I don't lead a very scandalous life! This blog shout-out goes to you, Kaylan. :)

Public Library or Twilight Zone?

I went to the library yesterday . . . it should have a sign above the front doors that say "Now Entering the Twilight Zone". I took two steps into the library and immediately entered survival mode: "Breathe through your mouth, not your nose! Don't make eye contact! Get what you need ASAP and run away! Stop sweating, it will just make everything worse!" I began to ask myself why I had even come to the library. I was doing some research for my classroom; my students spent the first semester studying the Trojan War, so our first two weeks will be transitioning from Homer to Virgil and from Greek to Roman mythology. I want to find a video for the students to watch about the mythological characters, as they don't like to listen to me very often. I found a few videos through Amazon that I thought might work but 1) I am on a budget that doesn't allow for frivolous spending to discover whether or not a video is suitable for 7th graders and 2) even if I did order them, they wouldn't be in by Friday. An amazing idea entered my head: PUBLIC LIBRARY!!!! Problem solved! Himmel Park library is a mile from my house! I can get a library card and check out all the books/videos I want for my classroom! Genius! I wrote down the names and call numbers of 5 videos that I wanted to view. They were not all at one library, so I made sure to check which locations they were at. I then proceeded to meet my brother for lunch and then see the movie Avatar . . . I will contemplate writing about my thoughts on that some other time. Avatar is a 3 hour movie, which didn't get out until 4:15 PM -the library closes at 5! I raced to the nearest library on 22nd and Columbus, but couldn't find it (I discovered later that it was on the SE corner, not the NW . . . yes, I can read a map . . .), quickly I moved on toward Himmel Park library. I get there at 4:30 - just enough time to get a card and check out a video! As noted above, I was not prepared for what I was about to encounter. I stepped through the doors and was overwhelmed with the smell of BO . . . I began to sweat and get nervous as I looked around and realized 3 things: 1) I was overdressed with my curled hair, necklace, and cardigan, 2) I smell quite good, and 3) everyone was staring at me - the way zombies look at their prey before they all attack at once. I stood my ground, even though everything in me was screaming: "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!" I had to remind myself: baby steps. Baby Step 1: get library card. Done. That wasn't so bad. The only creepy thing so far is that people don't understand the concept of lines or personal space - I'm sorry, do you think this is Italy? Baby Step 2: Find video. This was also not as hard as I thought it would be. I found where the DVDs were located and looked for the call number under "NONFICTION DVDs". I was browsing through the videos when an unclean mad behind me decided to talk to me - what was he thinking? I don't like to talk to people - remember my survival mode about not making eye contact?! I didn't see him - sneak attack! - all I saw was a "Pan's Labyrinth" DVD obstructing my line of vision accompanied by a husky voice saying, "this is a great movie". SWEAT! PANIC! MORE SWEAT! I did what a do best - looked at him with the "why are you talking to me" look, annoyed smile, and a "yeah . . ." response. I turned away and continued looking for my DVD. His response, "Oh, you've seen it." Yes, sir, I have. If I want your opinion, I'll ask for it. I quickly found what I was looking for and made my way to the front desk. Baby Step 3: Check-out DVD. This had to have been the worst part of my venture - probably because I was almost home free! I stood in line, waiting to check out my books with my brand new library card while a man was yelling at his son, Isaac, to come to the front because it was time to go. It was my turn to check out the books. Yelling Dad walked away, but Isaac decided to stand RIGHT next to me - SWEAT! PANIC! MORE SWEAT! STEP ASIDE! SWEAT MORE! Isaac was looking at the DVD I checked out, entitled "ROME", and he says, "ROME?! Why did you get that??" with a snotty little attitude and turned up nose. That little punk. He needs a good dose of Jesus and then Pusch Ridge Christian Academy. Before I could say anything, the lady behind the counter was asking him if he knew how to take the security things off of my DVDs and if he wanted her to check out his books for him too. It took 3 times of me saying, "HE'S NOT WITH ME!!!!!!" for her to respond, "Oh! He's not with you? I thought since he was talking to you and standing next to you . . . " HE'S NOT WITH ME!!!!!! As soon as the check-out was complete I drop-kicked Isaac (in my mind) and speed-walked out the door. PHEW! Fresh air! I may or may not have had nightmares about the library last night . . .

This week blog shout-out goes to my brother, Matt.

Auld Lang Syne . . .

Happy New Year! This new year was much better than last year's! I was remembering some of the things I hoped for, or was excited about, in New Year's past. 2007: I felt like I had just received the best gift of all - I was given my life back and I was ecstatic about the future; I had no idea what to expect but I knew it was going to be awesome! That is one thing about a life-saving experience: you become a little more thankful. 2008: 2007 was great and not at all what I expected (in a good way), but my freedom didn't really play out the way expected . . . maybe I should be a little more proactive. Needless to say, some very poor decisions were made that year. 2009: there is no way 2009 could be worse than 2008. This is the year. Everything will change this year. But I ended up living my life in 2009 for the purpose of trying to redeem myself for 2008 (shouldn't I know by now that this is an impossible task???). I have been blessed by 2009 in many ways: my mom has (almost) survived cancer, I passed my AEPA tests, received 'A's in all of my classes this semester, have a great family, awesome students, and I get to see my best friend at work everyday! What better way to end/begin a year?! 2010: I no longer hope for, or expect, those things I hoped for and expected in 2007, 2008, and 2009. I have a feeling that this year is going to be fun, exciting, and that new things are going to happen! This seems like a good place to insert my New Year's resolutions: I don't make resolutions because I never keep them! My theme verses for 2010 are Hebrews 13:15-16. I want to know what it means to offer the sacrifice of praise . . . I have a feeling it doesn't mean to only offer praises when I am happy and things are going well . . . I am also reminded that Jesus never promised a life of security for his followers. All he asks is a teachable heart so that we may be transformed by the renewing of our minds.

Here is a version of Auld Lang Syne that I enjoy . . . for best results you should listen to it while reading this blog post!