Sing Us a Song, You're the Piano Man!

Best. Night. Ever.

My friends and I decided to go up to Phoenix to go to a dueling piano bar, "The Big Bang". It was so worth the drive! I don't think I have had so much fun since that night in Seattle (Tanita & Josh, you know what I am talking about). What is The Big Bang? Karaoke on cocaine. It has two grand pianos on stage; there are a total of 6 piano players that rotate through the night so that there are two on stage at one time. They play requests, so you write your song request on a napkin and put it on the piano for them to play (with a tip of course!). They played everything from Lady Gaga's Bad Romance to Justin Timberlake's Dick in a Box, to Lonely Island's I'm On a Boat, to Paul Simon's You Can Call Me Al. It was pure awesome! The piano players were so talented! I'm not gonna lie, I was very close to putting my phone number on a napkin and handing it to one of the piano players . . . beanie, facial hair, wicked mad piano skills . . . Yes please! ;) First of all, beanies are always hot. Second of all, facial hair gives the rugged look. Third of all, musician?? Triple threat. This adventure took place with my two friends, Amber and Laura, and we managed to grab a table at the very front - which was perfect! The place filled up very quickly and everyone got into it (singing along, yelling and cheering). We even met new friends . . . I don't know their names, but somehow they ended up sharing a table with us! The piano players were very interactive with theaudience. At one point, Laura was texting when one of the piano players shined a flashlight on her, asked who she could possibly be texting, and made her come up on stage and sing with the piano by herself (Bye Bye Miss American Pie) for texting during his show - have I mentioned that Laura (you may know her as Adam-Bomb) is awesome! She rocked the stage and they even bought her a shot after her performance! After that, there was some shaking like a polaroid picture, livin' a prayer, and we didn't stop believing. The place was so loud that we could sing at the top of lungs and not hear ourselves . . . until we watched the videos later . . . We did try to video record some of the songs, until we were told not to by security (woops!), so we just recorded some video clips while the staff guys weren't looking. After 4 hours of fun, singing, and pianos we drove back to Tucson. I was the DD so it was not big deal, but Laura and Amber didn't make it more than 20 minutes into the drive before they were asleep . . . thanks guys. The Glee Cast and John Mayer kept me company! Finally made it home around 3 AM . . . thus concluding one of the best nights of our lives! I am not a very good writer, so this blog does not do our experience justice, all I can say is, "why do I live in Tucson?" We'll see . . .

This blog shout-out goes to you, Amber!

The Velvet Hammer

About 8 months ago my friends and I went to a rollerderby competition (this also happened to be the night that I wore a fake mustache and took a homemade crunk cup to a party . . . but that's another story). I highly recommend attending a roller derby match. We quickly learned the rules of the game, but most importantly, the amazing names that the girls go by. The idea was formed that evening: The Velvet Hammer. The Velvet Hammer is a non-competitive, competitive roller derby team. We all wanted roller derby names without having to actually play the game (we are not that tough). The thought was: get jerseys with our roller derby names, a number, and our team name on them, some sweatbands, maybe some roller skates down the road, and then just get together to do things (chipotle, karaoke, shuffleboard, make a music video, etc.). Since we have officially created The Velvet Hammer, I have learned that the name is not so original. The Velvet Hammer is not only a non-competitive, competitive roller derby team, but it is also a drink at Raging Sage (3 shots in sweetened condensed milk, 16 oz size only) and it is the name of a burger at Lindy's on 4th. It took a while to get all our names figured out and our numbers (those ended up being the year we graduated high school), but the jerseys finally came in. They were the most ridiculous thing I have every seen. They are a jersey material, high v-neck, and GIGANTIC arms. Seriously. I felt like I was wearing Batman's cape. The back, however, turned out great! Here is one thing to consider when deciding on your own roller derby name: it has to be tough and slightly inappropriate.

Our first Velvet Hammer event took place in January. The place: Shooters. Time: 10 PM - 12 AM. Purpose: Karaoke Extravaganza, Shuffleboard, and Darts in our jerseys. Needless to say, I can never show my face in shooters with the same group of people and in my jersey ever again. When we first arrived it was a little awkward. People kept asking us who we were and what the jerseys were for. We told the first few (bartender included) that we were just a fake roller derby team (the bartender laughed). But as the night continued I played my part. By the time I left shooters I had convinced a girl to join a year-round roller derby team for $100 a season (all of this was completely made-up information), told one guy that we were playing on the following Wednesday night, and finally that roller derby involves a ball of some sort. I know, I know. A ball?!?! No. He asked me how to score points in roller derby. I looked at my friend Laura (Adam Bomb) with a look of panic because I had forgotten the rules. She looked at me and said, "I have to go to the bathroom". She left me there. Under pressure I told him that there was a ball that some one holds and that the other team has to pass her . . . ? He believed me. I don't know which one of us is the bigger idiot. Since then we have provided everyone on The Velvet Hammer with an official roller derby rule book.

This blog shout-out goes to Laura (a.k.a. Adam Bomb).