I went to the library yesterday . . . it should have a sign above the front doors that say "Now Entering the Twilight Zone". I took two steps into the library and immediately entered survival mode: "Breathe through your mouth,
not your nose! Don't make eye contact! Get what you need ASAP and run away! Stop sweating, it will just make everything worse!" I began to ask myself why I had even come to the library. I was doing some research for my classroom; my students spent the first semester studying the Trojan War, so our first two weeks will be transitioning from Homer to Virgil and from Greek to Roman mythology. I want to find a video for the students to watch about the mythological characters, as they don't like to listen to me very often. I found a few videos through Amazon that I thought might work but 1) I am on a budget that doesn't allow for frivolous spending to discover whether or not a video is suitable for 7th graders and 2) even if I did order them, they wouldn't be in by Friday. An amazing idea entered my head: PUBLIC LIBRARY!!!! Problem solved! Himmel Park library is a mile from my house! I can get a library card and check out all the books/videos I want for my classroom! Genius! I wrote down the names and call numbers of 5 videos that I wanted to view. They were not all at one library, so I made sure to check which locations they were at. I then proceeded to meet my brother for lunch and then see the movie Avatar . . . I will contemplate writing about my thoughts on that some other time. Avatar is a 3 hour movie, which didn't get out until 4:15 PM -the library closes at 5! I raced to the nearest library on 22nd and Columbus, but couldn't find it (I discovered later that it was on the SE corner, not the NW . . . yes, I can read a map . . .), quickly I moved on toward Himmel Park library. I get there at 4:30 - just enough time to get a card and check out a video! As noted above, I was not prepared for what I was about to encounter. I stepped through the doors and was overwhelmed with the smell of BO . . . I began to sweat and get nervous as I looked around and realized 3 things: 1) I was overdressed with my curled hair, necklace, and cardigan, 2) I smell quite good, and 3) everyone was staring at me - the way zombies look at their prey before they all attack at once. I stood my ground, even though everything in me was screaming: "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!" I had to remind myself: baby steps. Baby Step 1: get library card. Done. That wasn't so bad. The only creepy thing so far is that people don't understand the concept of lines or personal space - I'm sorry, do you think this is Italy? Baby Step 2: Find video. This was also not as hard as I thought it would be. I found where the DVDs were located and looked for the call number under "NONFICTION DVDs". I was browsing through the videos when an unclean mad behind me decided to talk to me - what was he thinking? I don't like to talk to people - remember my survival mode about not making eye contact?! I didn't see him - sneak attack! - all I saw was a "Pan's Labyrinth" DVD obstructing my line of vision accompanied by a husky voice saying, "this is a great movie". SWEAT! PANIC! MORE SWEAT! I did what a do best - looked at him with the "why are you talking to me" look, annoyed smile, and a "yeah . . ." response. I turned away and continued looking for my DVD. His response, "Oh, you've seen it." Yes, sir, I have. If I want your opinion, I'll ask for it. I quickly found what I was looking for and made my way to the front desk. Baby Step 3: Check-out DVD. This had to have been the worst part of my venture - probably because I was almost home free! I stood in line, waiting to check out my books with my brand new library card while a man was yelling at his son, Isaac, to come to the front because it was time to go. It was my turn to check out the books. Yelling Dad walked away, but Isaac decided to stand RIGHT next to me - SWEAT! PANIC! MORE SWEAT! STEP ASIDE! SWEAT MORE! Isaac was looking at the DVD I checked out, entitled "ROME", and he says, "ROME?! Why did you get that??" with a snotty little attitude and turned up nose. That little punk. He needs a good dose of Jesus and then Pusch Ridge Christian Academy. Before I could say anything, the lady behind the counter was asking him if he knew how to take the security things off of
my DVDs and if he wanted her to check out his books for him too. It took 3 times of me saying, "HE'S NOT WITH ME!!!!!!" for her to respond, "Oh! He's not with you? I thought since he was talking to you and standing next to you . . . " HE'S NOT WITH ME!!!!!! As soon as the check-out was complete I drop-kicked Isaac (in my mind) and speed-walked out the door. PHEW! Fresh air! I may or may not have had nightmares about the library last night . . .
This week blog shout-out goes to my brother, Matt.
